Dear Vicky: When the Worms Start to Wiggle

Hello, everyone!

There’s this guy I know. One day he got some things he had to mail, but the weather was terrible. He set out anyway, braving cold temperatures, a mini hailstorm, and punishing winds. He got to the post office only to realise he left the things to be posted at home. Another round trip in such weather made him feel stupid, I would guess. There’s no way for me to definitively know what went on in his head, of course, because I am not him, but it was obviously quite embarrassing.

Here’s a little story that happened to me today. I was at the post office trying to mail something. Again, I can’t stress this enough. This is a different event from the one above. The post office was just a coincidence. So I brought the package to the counter. The lady at the counter asked me whether I wanted regular, or express. The regular mail cost 7 euros; the express, 20. I asked how much faster the express option was, and her answer was: “It takes the same amount of time, but you get a tracking number.” Now, I am no expert on the English language, and English is not even my first language, but doesn’t the word express literally mean faster? I know for a fact that the full name of FedEx is not Federal Just As Slow But Trackable. What? Are we just throwing dictionary definitions of words out of the window now? Imagine the many people before me who’d heard this answer and just shrugged: “that makes sense.” What’s going on here? Can someone enlighten me?

End of rant.

Today, March 5th is the beginning of a new solar term/ micro season in the Chinese tradition. There are 24 of these solar terms in a year that help guide farmers through their farming cycle. Today’s term is 驚蟄, which means awakening the worms when hibernating worms in the ground start to move. It’s time for farmers to prep the land for sowing season. That’s my limited-maybe even inaccurate- understanding of this agrarian tradition.

This solar term is closely related to today’s topic. In Hong Kong, when the worms start to wiggle, it means that one’s enemies start to plot. And one needs to fend off the villains, nemesis, or petty enemies who wishes him harm. Introducing the villain-beating witches on Canal Road West.

In Causeway Bay, just off the corner of Times Square, under the flyover of Canal Road West, there’s a group of “witches” providing villain beating services. They work every day of the year, and today would be their busiest, so much so there’d be a team of police onsite to maintain order and to move traffic. Hundreds of people will cram into the tiny strip of pedestrian area to solicit the villain beating service. The whole theatrical production involves writing the name(s) of one’s enemy on some colourful paper, the witch smashing the paper with a shoe, then burning of the paper accompanied by words spoken. Most people choose to put the names of their co-workers down for the beating as I understand it. The service costs somewhere around HK$50-100. Other services such as fortune telling, and blessing, can also be solicited.

The following photos were taken over the span of years, not on this very day because I knew well enough to avoid the crowds. I’ve never tried this myself mostly because I have too many names and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. I’m only joking, or am I? But I do enjoy the visuals, and you are coming along with me to see it.

The fire part of the production. The newspaper on the background says: Canal Road West villain beating; Hongkonger’s favourite targets are coworkers.

The beating in session.

Another fire session.

Some will cover their faces while waiting for the service. If you are seen here by your coworkers, I can imagine some awkward conversations in the pantry the next day.

The props of this production include, but not limited to: plastic stool, pomelo, candles, paper tigers, incense, and of course, a shoe.

Not sure what this guy’s deal is, but it looks like he’s having fun.

Instruction is provided for the uninitiated.

The menacing stare. That’s me editorialising.

The service begins.

The beating.

When business is light.

I am guessing this is a fortune-telling session. Don’t quote me on this.

According to the writing on the paper, this guy is asking for money.

Another fire session.

Fully theatrical.

Another talking session.

And that’s it for today. If there’s one thing you’ll take away from this post, let it be that you should avoid Canal Road West on March 5 every year. Thanks for dropping by. I will see you back here soon.